A List of Stuff That Annoys Me

  1. Biting into my food and it's too hot so I have to spit it out and wait for it to cool off even though I'm really hungry
  2. When people say "supooseably" or say "visa versa"
  3. People who don't know the difference between your and you're
  4. People who don't know the difference between they're, there, and their
  5. People who don't know the difference between to, too, and surprisingly, two
  6. When people don't use Oxford commas
  7. People who use commas incorrectly
  8. People who drive slowly in the far left lane of the freeway
  9. People who drive with a HUGE gap in front of them
  10. Slow walkers who walk in the middle of the sidewalk with no room for me to walk around
  11. People who drag their feet when they walk
  12. People who ask me if "I'm good" after I've drank 1 cocktail
  13. Paying for cover at a shitty bar
  14. When I can't zip the back of my dress because I can't reach
  15. Trying to remove a sports bra after the gym because the moist fabric is stuck to your skin
  16. When I can't hook a lobster clasp on my bracelets
  17. Stubbing your toe or achilles heel on any sharp piece of furniture
  18. Hangnails
  19. When I shave my legs and miss one tiny patch, so I have to hop in the shower again and go back and shave it
  20. When my winged liner isn't even
  21. When I'm waiting in line and the person in front of me isn't paying attention, so it creates a huge gap between that person and the person in front of him/her
  22. Uneven water temperatures in the shower
  23. Expecting to get your favorite shirt out of the dryer but it's still damp, so you have to spin the load for another entire cycle
  24. Really loud Harley motorcycles that pass me when my window is down
  25. People who don't use their blinkers when making a lane change
  26. People who use their blinkers for .000001 second while cutting me off as if it justifies cutting me off
  27. When my sock slips down in my shoes
  28. The feeling of a pebble in your shoe as you're walking
  29. When you're walking and your shoelace becomes untied so you have to stop entirely what you're doing to tie it
  30. When you're super thirsty and your Brita filter is empty so you have to refill it and wait for the water to filter
  31. When you're down to your last dabs of toothpaste and you're struggling to roll out the last bit onto your toothbrush, but then you miss and a whole glob of it falls into the sink
  32. When you use the last bit of toilet paper but it wasn't enough so you're basically wiping with what is essentially a thin napkin
  33. When your phone is at 1% and as you run to connect your charger, it dies on you because you got cocky thinking you were invincible and that fucking with battery life is a game
  34. When you play a C chord on your guitar and one of the strings is slightly out of tune
  35. People who don't let me touch my own food because they want to take a picture of it first
  36. Misspelled comments on Instagram from people who are from natively English-speaking countries, you illiterate fucks
  37. People on Instagram who misuse tragic hashtags for their personal promotion, visibility, or advertisement. You're capitalizing on someone else's suffering you piece of shit. No one fucking cares about the salad you ate you egotistical brain dead fuck.
  38. When my bra strap keeps slipping down under my shirt
  39. When you wear your fresh jeans for more than 1 hour and the waistband gets slightly loose so you have to keep pulling up your pants the rest of the day
  40. People who don't excuse themselves when taking a call
  41. Anything the Kardashians or Jenners do
  42. When you want to describe something using the perfect word but it's on the tip of your tongue and can't remember it
  43. People who eat off my plate without asking first. Like um, excuse me, are you a king?
  44. People who borrow my car and bring it back with trash inside of it
  45. Overly happy people
  46. People who insist that institutional racism doesn't exist
  47. People who believe in government conspiracy theories
  48. When you get really comfortable in bed and need to get up to turn off the light
  49. When Flame Broiler gives you an uneven ratio of chicken and veggies to rice. Why the fuck is there always too much rice?
  50. Cowlicks in my hair that stick up
  51. Scuffing up your new sneakers
  52. People who say "literally" when they're actually being hyperbolic
  53. Breaking the cork on a bottle of wine
  54. When I walk into a public restroom and I see an un-flushed toilet with piss and shit all over everywhere. Like seriously how did you aim your feces against a vertical wall and then choose to smear it everywhere?
  55. When I travel with my makeup bag, open it for use and realize I've forgotten a foundation sponge or my setting spray
  56. People who ask for my advice and then do the opposite of what I've advised them because at that point, why did you seek my advice and waste my time if you were going to literally do the opposite of what I told you
  57. People who tell me "they're on their way" and are actually still getting ready. Just tell me if you're running late. That way, I can take a nap or eat while I wait that extra 30 minutes.
  58. When I'm running to a door clearly intending on entering it, but the person in front of me lets the door close instead of holding it open YOU PIECE OF SHIT
  59. When you run out of conditioner faster than shampoo, so you shower with no conditioner like some peasant
  60. Any "comedian" on Instagram
  61. Almost every teenager ever